Self Atonement

I had a bit of a revelation one fine Sunday morning, I have been on the job, working 24 x 7 with commitments playing in the form of my day job, writing, consulting and socializing, and all these increasing at a frenzied pace as the days go by. The weekends spill over the weekdays and vice versa. I thoroughly enjoy every aspect of my life even now but last Sunday I found myself waking up after a 3 a.m. night out with the buzz of my cell phone and the excited voice of an old friend who had moved away from India right after school.

It took me a few agonizing moments to figure out who it was till it dawned on me that I had been contacted by him a few weeks ago, made exciting plans of his visit here, starting from picking him up at the airport in the early morning and heading straight to our local hangout during school to revive memories of yore long. I had obviously forgotten and he instantly picked on my baffled reaction and joked exaggeratedly about how I have become an overnight sensation in the food world and the so called social circle thus having no time for old friends who have had no recent life changing moments. Embarrassed as hell and trying to make peace with the situation I murmured an apology and sidelined the conversation to meeting up soon.

That Sunday I cancelled all my plans, shut off my phone and refused to acknowledge the presence of anything in my hyperactive schedule for the day and focused on myself, the family, my home and my priority calendar which resides in my befuddled brain. It so happens I was letting go of the important things in my life in pursuit of an already perfectly shaped bubble of a world I had created in the past few months.

A revelation of my introspection made me see my world from an outside eye. Undoubtedly it looked great, just as the happy and glorified moments we post on facebook, but what was missing was the satisfaction of knowing why was I doing all this?

Is it for money ? – No;

Is it for fame ? – No;

Is it for pure passion and self satisfaction? – Yes

So then why did this little experience leave such a bad taste in my mouth; had I become so self absorbed that it was self inflicted, well it certainly looked like it. It is unacceptable that certain relationships are made to take a backseat just so you need time to propel yourself somewhere, in the bargain, probably hurting those on the receiving end whether consciously or unconsciously.

I propagate the thought to my peers about standing ground as life commences in the upward direction, and it would be hypocritical if I do not practice what I preach. It is important to push yourself to excel in life and its lessons, it is also imperative to use up as much awake time you have in doing something substantial but it is equally important to make time for the world you have grown up with and in. Even if this little part of your world has no time for you (highly unlikely!) it still is your prerogative to set aside some moments for it.

Well this was an eye opener, especially when he mentioned that I sound tired on the phone itself and have resolved to embrace time management a bit and divide my attention to all the current influences in my life. On this note, I see a lot of others around me failing to realize this, hope they get a simple hit like this for taking them on the road to self atonement. It will be well worth it and of course, makes you a better person.

Since I got a lot achieved that Sunday, with quality time spent with the right people, a quiet visit to the temple, tidying up my home, peacefully sorting out all the baggage which I have been lugging around without emptying its contents, I had some time to make peace with myself and ideate towards an evening drink. I had leftover jasmine flowers (ironically, from the temple offering) and made myself this sweet elixir with chamomile from Uttarakhand, one of the farmer groups up north grow these. Try this at home and you can keep the jasmine mix for as long as you want.

Floral Scented & Honeyed Noon Drink

Ingredients:

• 250ml Vodka (plain)
• 15 Jasmine Flowers
• 1 Tablsp Pure Honey
• 1 tsp Lemon juice
• 1 cup hot water
• 1 tsp Chamomile Tea

Steep the jasmine flowers in vodka for about 4-5 hours (I usually, steep mine for 4 days till the vodka turns a slight greenish tinged liquid) and strain. Store in refrigerator till used.

Brew the chamomile flowers in the hot water for about 5-7 mins and strain

To proceed, add the scented vodka and top with honey and lemon. Stir well and add ice cubes as required. Top with chamomile tea and serve with a stirrer.

You can play around with flavors in this drink by adding lemon strips or orange strips to enhance the citrus notes.