A Thumbs Down

I recently had a very unnecessary incident happen with me but which reminded me that what goes around, comes around. I was waiting for a meeting in a suburban coffee shop at around 11 a.m., sipping on my black coffee and soaking in the faint skylight streaming in through the thick windows of the cafe from where I was sitting. The coffee shop was fairly empty. Being a weekday morning and nowhere near a college/school, there were a few hurried rushes of orders, mostly takeaways and the occasional person with their laptops and paraphernalia lying scattered on distant tables.

I was reminiscing, largely welcoming the peace before the person I was meeting arrived, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face a largish bespectacled woman, carrying a tote slung askew across her shoulder, wearing a staid navy dress covering her knees and simple ballet flats. She towered well above where I sat peering down at me haughtily. I immediately got up to acknowledge her with a growing sense of familiarity. I just could not place her.

She took a minute to rearrange her snooty look before a ‘hello, Merchant?’ emerged in a sing-song voice, much as though she had an accent which sailed between Africa and England. I nodded a yes and attempted to sit down again. It all happened in quick succession, she grasped my hand, sort of pushed me sideways into the booth of the table I had parked myself on and squatted down on the sofa right beside me.

With a bemused look and sliding my hand away from her clammy palms, I edged myself right to the other end of the sofa so I could face her. Waiting to hear what this was all about. She turned and asked me, what was more of a statement than a question – “I am sure you did not recognize me”.

Now here is the thing with me – yes I am a little bad with names, in fact very bad with names and I usually tend to remember faces first. I am guilty of the fact that on a day to day basis I meet so many new people that it is completely impossible for me to remember names especially of casual acquaintances or people I have met once or maybe times over but not in a long time. I was just staring at her with this bewildered look trying as much to contort my thoughts into some name, some recognition, but all I landed up doing was screwing up my face which made her exult into an exasperated sigh.

She went on to introducing herself to me and it struck me like a bolt of out of nowhere. She turned out to be someone I had encountered once (I am going to leave the name and place out completely but I can say it was a good many years ago, especially since I may have guess workers here who will try to piece the timeline together and take a calculated, and might I add, disastrous guess) and one which did not end well.

This happened at a nondescript place one fine late afternoon when this very woman, in the prime of her youth with a cushy life, much thinner and in the position of an unmentionable power had in three flat minutes managed to give me an insight into how my life would be when I am 30 – Plain, dreary, listless and in a way stagnant (not in those exact words but certainly implied). Now let me tell you, this was very much the time when I was not into the food space and life was certainly not plain or listless but it was quite regular. It so happened that this incident had left a sour taste but at that time I had just shrugged it off externally and moved on. Emotionally it had left a mark I would not forget, but it had faded away. The context, I leave it to you to fantasize on (there could be many possibilities).

What was uncanny is that she had been following my life. Especially in the recent few years with it being in-a-way public and Mumbai does tend to shrink when you are with and in media. She went on to tell me all her futile attempts to get in touch with me as her husband was (sic) opening a food business and she had been desperate to get in touch but somehow just could not. (I later recollected a name that had gotten in touch with me; it turned out to be her husband. I had dismissed the association out of the pure fact of it being a dispassionate one only driven by a deep desire to look at returns and not a project driven with passion – a trait I look above all in any association I make for business). She then went on to tell me that she had divorced said husband a few months ago, had taken up a rented space with a ‘regular’ job to support her daily needs and was glad to have met me as she had this new idea which she wanted to run by me. Guess what it was – a food business.

She had pretty much forgotten that an eon ago we had disengaged in haste and bad taste; her attempts to get in touch were thwarted due to an external force, unexplained. On realizing this turn of events and my memory which now came back in a rush of hate, I had managed to size her up, and in 3 flat minutes told her I did not have the time or the ear for her right now, my counterpart for the meeting had just arrived.

With a fleeting goodbye to the guest turned unwanted, I seized my thoughts back into my little world again. She walked away with her tail between her legs.

I have noticed this very recently, I have managed to attract the new people in my life lately who are really in need of me or respect my work (and somehow relate to what I am doing). I have come to such a stage that there is no place for unwanted people and hopefully it remains so. I have always been a willing, caring and sharing person. You be good to me, I be ‘very’ good to you. You manage to tick me off (in the past, many) and I will just walk away without a hitch. I have always done that and realized that in some weird way the people who manage to tick me off or somehow disappoint me, always find the need to come back to me for something. It is sad to see this happen as I had filed these incidences as forgotten; it is the universes funny way to show them their place and it seems to happen anywhere, anytime.

On that note, this recipe is born out of the current sweetness in my life and the desire to share my creations which are usually hand-made, with anyone who crosses my path. These cookies are completely handmade (except the beating part, which I am sure we can rely on the machines to do a fabulous, easy job) and are worth the small effort. Try these cookies out; they are not only delicious but visually appealing too. Don’t they also remind you of the jim-jam biscuits you snacked on as kids?

These cookies are simple butter cookies; they crumble well with each bite and pack just the right amount of sweetness highlighted by the jam centers. The flours used depend area to area and I have tried to make it as precise in quantities as possible. You should try and go with your gut feelings when combining the wet and dry together and follow the instructions to the ‘T’ to get the right dough consistency.

PS: She or any other person who managed to get in my bad books are certainly not having my share of this sweetness I call ‘Life’

Citrus Thumbprint Cookies

(This recipe makes approximately 24-28 cookies, and trust me do not reduce the recipe, if you don’t eat it by yourself, you are sure to proudly share it with near and dear ones)

Ingredients

• 1 cup Salted Butter, room temperature
• ½ cup Powdered Sugar
• 1 tablsp Zest of Citrus Fruit (any 1 from Orange, Lemon, Lime, Blood Orange…)
• 1½ tablsp Juice of Citrus Fruit (any 1 from Orange, Lemon, Lime, Blood Orange…)
• 2 Yolks of Egg
• 2½ cups All purpose Flour (Maida)
• ½ tsp Baking Powder
• 1 tsp Vanilla essence / powder / extract

For the filling

• ½ cup Citrus Marmalade or any of your favorite Jam
• 2 tablsp Favorite Citrus Liqueur like Cointreau or Limoncello (optional)
• Candied Citrus peels (lemon or orange) (optional)
• Extra powdered sugar to dust

Method

• Set Oven to 175C and leave to preheat, line a baking sheet with parchment paper and keep aside.
• Sieve the flour with the baking powder and keep aside.
• Mix the ingredients of the filling and keep aside, keep the citrus peels stripped and ready. If you are not using the liqueur dilute the marmalade with about the same quantity of water.
• Ideally with a hand blender with the beater attachment, beat the sugar and butter till fluffy and light yellow (must be creamy).
• Add in egg yolk one at a time and beat till completely incorporated; add in the citrus zest and juice, along with the vanilla. Beat well till the mixture is a cohesive smooth batter.
• Add in the flour-baking powder mix a big spoonful at a time till the mixture starts taking shape. It should be able to consume all the flour and yet be slightly supple. Thick enough to hold together but soft enough to break into a disfigured lump should it warm against the palm of your hands.
• Rub your hands with a little flour, and scoop a tablsp of mixture in your hand, shape it into a spherical ball and place on the baking tray. Repeat for rest of dough and place keeping 1” space in between each sphere.
• With a small rounded pestle or the back of a rounded handle of metal spoon, or if you are adventurous with a steady hand your ‘thumb’. Dip the head of the pestle/handle back/thumb into water and press it right in the center of the sphere cookie dough. You should press firmly till there is a suitable indent in the center (as deep as you can go but do not break it to the sheet, it will rise again once it is kept to bake).
• You may reshape with your fingers should any of them crack on the sides while pressing the indents.
• Repeat for all the cookies and pop them in the pre-heated oven.
• Keep watch over the cookies, after around 10 minutes you will notice they have risen well and start browning on the edges.
• Remove them (while keeping the oven at the same temperature), and quickly drop a small spoonful of the marmalade (filling mix) into the indented part, repeat and place a strip of candied peel in the center.
• Pop again in the oven and bake at the same temperature for about 3 minutes (keep a close watch, once you see the jam bubbling remove after 30 seconds of it bubbling).
• Cool till just about hot enough to touch, and then lift with your fingers or a flat spatula and leave to cool completely on a wire rack.
• Dust with powdered sugar through a tea strainer.
• These can be consumed warm, or cold or even kept in an airtight container up to a week or so. (mine never last more than 3 days and have been unsuccessful till date, in my many batches made, to keep a few hidden to check it shelf life)

Nonchalant Variation:

• You can have fun with spices and herbs too, think ginger, rosemary, cumin and even rose
• I usually make fun centers with different jams (always have an insane amount of jams in my pantry) to brighten things up, especially if you want to gift these to people. As seen in the picture these are the mixed ones but also my very first batch, though they were delicious they looked a little more rustic due to the oven being too hot and the cookie dough being too tough (had used little more flour than I intended to)
• You can try different centers apart from jam such as Nutella, chocolate, peanut butter, lemon curd. The list is endless, mix and match and make a different one every time, the quantities remain the same.
• You can substitute all purpose flour with wheat flour. Start with half and half and once you are confident of the suppleness of the dough (it should not get too dry) go all the way wheat. If need be, adjust the citrus juices and egg.
• Smoosh over your ice-cream or desserts for that extra fun crunch and flavor.

One of my favorite and quickest desserts to make or gift, these cookies are fun and easy. I always try new variations but this by far turned out delicious and extremely appealing to the eye. They are not too sweet too and the centers are usually the flavor makers. Try it while it is warm too.