A Juicy Trap

I think I have reached an age where the word marriage keeps following me in annoying whispers where ever I go. Except from certain few who are of my age, anyone even slightly older than me will throw that question at the most blatant of opportunity. I have learnt the art of sidelining these very well.

Not that I am against marriage or finding the right ‘soul mate’ and all that jazz. I am the type of person who loves to be loved and could go to the extent of saying I have been blessed with a lot of people around me who are closely attached one way or another and keep the life in me alive. Being a no nonsense person also helps to tie those bounds even closer. Barring the exes of course, everyone and anyone who has been in my life or around me, new or old, has managed to hang on to me at some level. It is a good feeling.

In retrospect to that reverberating word, I look back and hear of acquaintances from yore jumping onto the marriage bandwagon many eons ago. It shocks to note that many of them jumped in too early and are in the throes of a breakup, a messy divorce or so-called ‘open’ relationships which allow them to move around with other people while they still live with their bitter halves for society’s sake. To ones own I guess, but open and relationships are two words which do not go together at all.

I have seen and heard of many such cases and which are not only restricted to the upper echelons of society but in every possible strata of society. A situation where the husband or wife or both have strayed because ‘it got boring’ or ‘did not work out’ or ‘we got trapped’ or whatever silly excuse they come up with to stay away from each other. This has become quite common place nowadays. The blame game is tossed around like a dice and in the end, not only two lives are ruined but probably many more which are connected to them.

You may think that this phenomenon is quite new, because of fast lives, equality of genders, new age thinking, disposable incomes (which lead to disposable relationships) and so on and so forth. You may also entertain yourself by reading about the trials and tribulations of celebrities and high society, but I would disagree and say that it is the blasphemous human nature of people who corrupt from immaturity and stupidity. They suffer ego’s which are as bloated as their empty heads and they think with their nether regions because of an air filled head.

The funny thing is these relationships fly out of the window at a drop of a pant and become an unpredictable drama which unfolds anytime. I remember a couple I once knew, much in love since school, never looked at anyone but themselves, got married even though the girl was rich and the boy was struggling to make ends meet. A perfect marriage, straight out of the movies; funnily it does not end like the movies i.e. with much melodrama and family involved. The boy goes on to become an overnight sensation in the real estate market. By hook or by crook comes up to financial levels unimaginable and rubs shoulders with the crème de la crème. Suddenly one fine day, boy… now a man decides to fling on with a starlet and beds a string of nubile nymphs. Doting wife, mother, woman, caught unawares at a high society do where word spreads like wildfire of husband’s shenanigans is helpless, shattered and torn. End of marriage. Period.

I know the first thing which would cross your mind is ‘new money’ or inflated ego. It is anything but that. Rather it is plain and simple convenience. The man had sudden access to create complications without thinking and for reasons best known to him. No realization before jumping of the repercussions of his bedroom tales towards his love, his children, his future. Nothing.

As is the case with most wives, some take infidelity with a pinch of salt and ignore it; some retaliate with cases enough to shrivel a prune in cold weather and some just go out and do it themselves. What does all this lead to? Stinking relations which will affect any and everyone in the circle, complicated situations and a complete mess of human nature.

Safely said, I don’t get why people get into this trap in the first place?

If you call marriage a trap, I think it should be juicy enough to let you savour it, even if it is the last thing you do

I came up with comfort food to pipe down the angst on re reading my little piece above. Comfort food which tends to encapsulate the situation and aptly titled the juicy trap. Burgers are the ultimate comfort food and can be made in a 1000 different ways. Burgers are basically (and originally) a hunk of juicy meat, roasted and toasted and finally ‘trapped’ between two pieces of bread. This little version is conveniently vegetarian and a variation which I have developed just to make it a little more interesting. Juicy, fleshy roasted Portobello’s with the right flavors are shoved inside a soft bun. Enjoy this easy to make version and think about life as good as this tastes.

Caramelized Onion & Portobello Burgers

Ingredients

• 2 burger buns (split into two)
• 2 large bun sized Portobello mushrooms / 4 medium sized ones
• 1 large red onion (cut into thick rings)
• A pinch of white sugar
• 1 small bunch spinach leaves (blanched)
• 2 tsp mustard paste
• 4 tablsp balsamic vinegar
• 2 tablsp olive oil
• ½ tsp garlic powder or 1 tsp grated garlic
• ½ tsp mixed herbs
• 1 tsp brown sugar
• ¼ cup Mayonnaise
• 4-5 Sundried tomatoes with oil
• ½ tsp red chili flakes
• Salt & Pepper to season
• Butter

Slather the inside of the buns with butter, keep buttered side up on a baking tray and brown under a grill for 5 minutes. Keep aside.

Blitz the mayonnaise, Sundried tomatoes with a little of their oil, chili flakes with a pinch of salt in a blender. Keep refrigerated until required.

Mix the balsamic, olive oil, garlic, herbs and brown sugar in a bowl. Dunk the mushrooms and let soak for about 15 minutes. Once soaked place cap side down (smooth side) on a foil lined baking tray, spoon the juices into the cup of the mushroom and roast in oven for 10 minutes on 200C or until the juices start bubbling and caramelizing. Remove and keep aside.

In a small pan heat a little vegetable oil (about 1 tablsp) and toss in the onion rings. Stir fry till they start turning brown on the edges, sprinkle a punch of sugar and turn off the heat once the sugar coats the onions and caramelizes.

If you have space in the oven you may pop in the burger buns (buttered side up) to toast in the last 5 minutes of the mushrooms being cooked.

To build, slather the bottom burger bun with Sundried tomato mayonnaise and the top with mustard paste. Top the bottom burger bun with a few leaves of blanched spinach. Follow it up with one large caramelized Portobello cap or 2 medium sized ones and a few slices of caramelized onions. Season with salt and pepper and place the top burger bun. Serve immediately or pop in a warm oven for a minute.

The Portobello mushrooms absorb a lot of juice due to their porous and absorbent properties. The reason for caramelizing Portobello caps is so that the juices get sealed in once the sugar and balsamic form a glaze on the skin. Enjoy these juicy burgers with a beer or a lemony fizz drink on a hot summer day.

Matter of time before I do find someone I settle down with… and I know it will be worth the wait.